Simply Hernandez

The Princess and the Pea

2011-11-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

Before and After Photos

2011-09-22T16:20:00.001-07:00

Before (Tuesday morning):

After (Wednesday morning):

Welcome to our world, Isaac John!

2011-09-14T17:39:00.000-07:00

Welcome to our world, our lives and our family, Isaac John Hernandez. Born September 14, 2011 at 7:35 am, weighing 7 pounds, 14 ounces. We love you already!

Long Overdue Post

2011-06-29T20:34:00.001-07:00

Ok so I started this post but never finished it...so here it is and I'll start a new one today! (is that weird?)

I'm not sure if there's many people out there that read my blog (except my mom - thanks Mom!), but just in case...I've got some long overdue news.

We're pregnant!!!

And when I say long overdue, I mean really long overdue. As in I'm in my third trimester and our due date is September 22. It hasn't been a secret for a long time in any sense, but it's just that I haven't made my way over here to blogspot to do a post. Until now.

We are SUPER excited about being pregnant, going through the childbirth experience again, and most of all having a new baby BOY. And Olivia is really excited to be a big sister.

Happy Anniversary!

2011-03-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe this picture was taken six years ago today. Thanks Peter Thomsen for some great photographs from our wedding day.

Santa Cruz Harbor in March

2011-03-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

My mom and step-dad made a trip from Texas to visit us earlier this week, and we took these picture on a trip down to the harbor (and the Lighthouse where Juan and I got engaged!). It was a sort of gray day (in terms of the sky), but the light must have been just right because I love how these photos turned out!

Christmas 2010

2010-12-26T18:51:00.001-08:00

Tidings of Comfort and Joy

2010-12-19T00:31:00.000-08:00

This weekend we went to see the Christmas show at our church, Twin Lakes Church. It was phenomenal! They did 10 productions of the show and from what I understnad, each one was packed out! (You should check out some clips of the show over the last couple of years on youtube...it is that good!) Anyhow, during the show, there was a rendition of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" and while listening to the song, one line of the lyrics struck me. It's a part that you would probably recognize..."O tidings of comfort and joy...comfort and joy...O tidings of comfort and joy."

I was struck by the words because if there were ever a year that I needed to hear "tidings of comfort and joy," it was this year. but I hadn't made any particular connection between our pain from losing Hope and the comfort and joy (which we so desperately needed) given in the birth of Jesus. Clearly, we have looked to God as our comfort, but I hadn't really thought of Christmas as a specific reminder of that. (Yes, it seems obvious, but somehow that's how these things work. )

This reminder was particularly needed, as Christmas is also the time of year that Hope was due to be born. So we've been reminded often of the loss of her life and our pain surrouding her loss, since, had we not lost her, we would have been having a new baby this Christmas.

So, just what were the tidings of comfort and joy? According to the lyrics, the tidings were: "Remember, Christ, our Saviour was born on Christmas day, to save us all from Satan's power when were were gone astray."

I'm glad these words were brought to my attention and I've had some time to think them through. For years to come, when I hear this song, I'll be reminded of this Christmas, of grieving Hope's loss during the Christmas of 2010, and of the reminder of tidings of comfort and joy.

Merry Christmas!

God rest ye merry, gentlemen

Let nothing you dismay

Remember, Christ, our saviour

Was born on Christmas day

To save us all from Satan's power

While we were gone astray

O tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy

O tidings of comfort and joy.

Funny thing Olivia says...

2010-12-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

Olivia is talking like crazy these days! She is saying so many funny things that I decided to start recording some of them just so I don't forget them. Here are some of our favorites...

"Cutie pie" (referring to herself, of course!)
"Come on" (while holding your hand and taking you where she wants you to go)
"Oh my goodness!"
"Oh boy."
"One more time..." (with her index finger int he air)
"I want more olives." (We're pretty sure this was her first four word sentence just a few days ago.)
"Hey babe!" (This one came from a version of "She'll be coming 'round the mountain" from a Bert and Ernie record Olivia listens to at Miss Lorna's house. Yes, you read that right...they listen to records! Isn't that great!?)
"Maybe so."
"Happy Birthday-giving" (This was her version of "Happy Thanksgiving.")

Here are a few others I can't really put in a list format, but they're definitely worth recording:

1. We have good friends who live near us, the Bootz'. We drive by their house every day on the way to and from our house and often we talk about all of the people in their family. Olivia can say all their names...first and last: Amy Bootz, Josh Bootz, Eli Bootz, and Baby Brenden Bootz. Pretty cool.

2. About 3 weeks ago, Olivia was washing her hands and slipped and fell, causing her face to hit the faucet and giving her a pretty good cut just below her eye. It must have made quite the impression her as she is still talking about that boo-boo. It goes something like this: "Washing hands...boom!...waahh...boo-boo." It's truly story-telling at its finest.

3. Today we were driving to a get-together with some friends, and on the way, Juan and I were chatting away. Out of the blue, Olivia said, "Mommy, Daddy...no talking." What?!?

We love this little girl and she is surprising us every day with the things she does...and now even more, the things she says!

Just for fun...some photos from my phone

2010-12-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2010-11-29T00:12:00.000-08:00

Olivia and I spent some time last week making a card for Juan's birthday, so I thought I would share our work with all of you. We had such a ball making the card that Olivia could barely hold in all her excitement!

A Sorrow Shared

2010-10-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that in my paying job (as opposed to my non-paying, but *favorite* job of being a mom), I work in a book shop. So it was in the context of my book shop job that I was looking at a list of recommended books today, and I came across a book entitled A Sorrow Shared. I didn't really even look at the book in too much detail, but I was intrigued by its name.

When thinking about those words, I really resonated with their meaning, and I couldn't stop thinking about our experience of losing Baby Hope this year. I kept thinking of all the friends and family who have traveled this road with us, listening to us when we needed to "verbally process," supporting us during the hard times, bringing us meals, and just asking how we were even when you didn't know what to say. It was in all these ways and so many others that you shared our sorrow. And by sharing our sorrow, you have carried some of our burden. I don't know how we could have done this without you. Our gratefulness goes beyond our words, as I don't think our words could adequately express what you have meant to us on this journey.

Thank you for sharing our sorrow. Your kindness will always be remembered.

Life with Olivia

2010-09-08T22:27:00.000-07:00

Olivia is doing really funny things these days. Besides saying words like crazy, she is experimenting with all kinds of noises with her mouth...gurgling sounds, pretending to sneeze, and fake snoring. She is cracking us up on a regular basis!

She has also fallen completely head over heels in love...with 2 stuffed animals! She loves the book "Brown Bear" (I highly recommend the book, too!) and has named a large teddy bear that Juan gave me for a birthday years ago "Brown Bear." After reading the book about 1,000 times, she learned to say "Brown Bear" and in fact, the other day we were in Costco and they had giant stuffed bears. Like about 5 feet tall stuffed bears. Olivia saw them across the way and yelled out (in her tiny 18-month old yelling voice), "Brown Bear!!!" It was so stinkin' sweet.

The other stuffed animal she's fallen in love with is a stuffed Elmo, and she actually fell in love with Elmo (the character) before she even got the stuffed animal. About a week ago, Juan taught her to say Elmo, and it just stuck. Some days, it seems like every other word out of her mouth is "Elmo." Today, our friends brought by a stuffed Elmo and she was giddy with excitement. In fact, as I'm writing this, she's asleep in her crib...with Elmo by her side.

We continue to cherish every day we have with Olivia. She brings us such joy.

A letter to our sweet Hope

2010-08-24T20:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Hope,

Today we buried your body at the Felton Cemetery. Only a small group of very close friends and family were there, as we had planned, and we shared a beautiful time together. Your Nini and Tu, Mommy's parents, sent the most beautiful flowers for your grave...they were pink and white and so fitting for a newborn baby girl. Ita and "Toto," Daddy's parents, brought three pink balloons and a beautiful pink rose bush. "Miss Lorna," Olivia's special friend and a dear friend to your mommy and daddy, brought a bouquet of white flowers. Gary Williams from church gave a very short talk, encouraging us in the comfort that God provides, and then Daddy and Toto lowered your casket into the ground. You were buried in the most beautiful baby casket I've ever seen...it was painted all white and it was just the right size for you. Even now as I'm writing this letter to you, tears are streaming down my face thinking about the day. It was so painful, but still beautiful, just like you were beautiful.

What I want you to know, Baby Hope, is that even though your life was very, very short, we loved you from the moment we knew about you. When we knew that you would most likely not live until your birth, and almost certainly not beyond pregnancy, we began to accept that all the love we would give to you would be through me carrying you in my tummy and through the words we could say to you before you were born. It seems like so little, but we gave you all the love we could.

I also want you to know that your Daddy and I are so glad that we had the opportunity to love you. Learning that you would not be born as a healthy baby was the most difficult thing we have ever experienced, and our hearts are still hurting. But we believe that we will see you again someday, and we know that it will not always hurt like it hurts now.

Yes, Baby Hope, today was a difficult day, much like the day you were born, only two short weeks ago, but on both of these days, God gave your Dad and me so much peace. On the day you were born, all day we awaited your arrival and I prayed all day that God would guide me and give us strength for what we were about to go through. And when you arrived, it was one of the most peaceful and beautiful experiences we have ever had. And in a strange way, today was beautiful and peaceful, as well.

We love you baby Hope,

Mommy and Daddy

God is Still Good

2010-08-15T20:31:00.001-07:00

We've been home from the hospital for 4 days now, and my mom flew back to Texas today. We've felt so loved by friends and family who've called and sent cards and by those in town who have brought over flowers, meals, etc. or just let us know they've been thinking of us. It's been so great to have my mom here to just "be" together and to help us with Olivia. The help with Olivia has been such a blessing....much more than we even anticipated! One morning Olivia was eating her cheerios and for some reason decided to throw the bowl (milk and all) onto the floor. I burst into tears, and Mom stepped in, taking over on helping O with breakfast and sending me back to bed. I'm not sure what I would have done without her here in that moment.

Juan and I have had time this week to just be together as a couple and begin to process what we've been through these last 2 months. We know it could be a long road, but we are not alone on the journey.

It's hard to think about entering back into "normal life," but we're just taking it one day at a time, putting one foot in front of the other. We have been constantly reminded of God's goodness in the midst of our heartache, and can only believe that He will continue to provide what we need in the days ahead.

When Hello means Good-bye

2010-08-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

Baby Hope came peacefully into this world at 10:04 pm on Tuesday, August 10. We were able to say hello and good-bye, and she was beautiful. We love you, Baby Hope.

Baby Hope went to be with God today.

2010-08-09T22:59:00.001-07:00

We went in for our weekly appointment with Dr. Lawson, and she couldn't find Hope's heartbeat. Tomorrow we will go to the hospital to have labor induced.

It has been an incredibly painful day, but we are thankful for the love and support of so many family and friends.

Please continue to pray for me, Juan and Olivia as we continue this journey. Pray that the "father of mercies and the God of all comfort" will comfort us in this time.

"May your unfailing love rest upon us, O God, even as we put our hope in You." Psalm 33:22

A long overdue update

2010-08-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

It's taken a while for me to be able to put together this post. We definitely have some things to update, but sometimes it's easy for me to focus so much on the scientific and the medical details (maybe too much?), but this last few days have been the most emotional we've experienced on this journey. So figuring out what to write has been hard.

Alas, here are the details: last Thursday we got a call from the Genetic Counselor and they had received the results from the amniocentesis performed two weeks earlier. I was surprised they gave them to us over the phone, but nonetheless, Juan was at work, I was in my car parked at Mount Hermon, and we talked to Stephanie on a three-way call. She shared with us that they did find a chromosomal abnormality. It's called Trisomy 18, and it means that our baby has 3 copies of Chromosome 18, rather than the normal 2. It's a condition the doctors consider "not compatible with life." 98% of babies with Trisomy 18 do not survive pregnancy. Of the small number that are born, their lifespan is typically only seconds, minutes or hours.

We had an appointment on Friday, where we did an ultrasound and saw that the baby's heart was still beating. Dr. Taslimi also pointed out that the swelling has extended even more into her arms and legs. He appeared very sad as he let us know that our baby's swelling is so profound that medically, the doctors only expect her to live in utero for only a few more weeks at most.

Unbelievably, we spent most of our appointment with the genetic counselor talking about the whys and hows of gaining "closure" in a situation like ours. I was surprised yet grateful that the medical establishment placed so much emphasis on this. We have lots of ideas and some potential plans, but most of all, we now know the importance for our emotional health long-term of processing our grief for our baby.

So...that's the factual update, and here's the emotional one: we are so very saddened and also emotionally exhausted at this point in the journey. We have another appointment tomorrow with my regular obstetrician, and we'll probably start having weekly ultrasounds with her, but at this point the purpose of the ultrasounds is to look for signs of life. And unless science, medicine, and statistics are proven wrong in our case, one of these next few weeks, the doctor will look at us and say, "I'm so sorry."

It's safe to say we're "preparing for the worst" and in doing so, the waiting is really difficult. However, I've said it before and I'll say it again, but both Juan and I deeply believe that despite all the pain that we've experienced up to this point, and despite the pain that we know could be in our future, we believe that God can and will bring healing to our broken hearts. It won't be easy or pain-free by any means, but we do believe in healing.

One closing note: we just wanted to say thank you to all of you who have been so supportive and loving towards us in this process. We can't imagine going through this journey alone, and our hearts will forever be grateful for the love we have received from people like you. Thank you.

Hardest Day Yet

2010-07-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

Today was a tough day. We had an appointment scheduled at Stanford (actually the Heart Center at Lucille Packard Children's Hospital) for a fetal echocardiogram. The procedure is done by ultrasound but it has to be done at Stanford because they don't have the fancy machine here in Santa Cruz. The echocardiogram is performed to rule out a heart issue as the cause of the cystic hygroma and the swelling in the body of the baby.

After the ultrasound tech spent what seemed like forever looking at the heart from about 20 different angles, the cardiologist came in and told us that the baby's heart is quite normal. She can't find any problems with the heart. We were relieved to hear this.

I don't remember exactly how she made the transition, but somehow the doctor transitioned the conversation from "your baby has a normal heart" to the subject of "fetal hydrops," which is the medical term for the swelling that has moved into the baby's body cavity. Although Dr. Taslimi had not actually used the term hydrops with us last week, I was suspicious that what he called "swelling" is also known as hydrops. I have read about hydrops but since I wasn't sure that our baby has hydrops, I didn't want to jump to conclusions and cause unnecessary stress for any of us.

So when this doctor mentioned hydrops, and in fact, said that our baby has "profound hydrops," it was overwhelming for us. For Juan this was new information and for me this confirmed my suspicions, but for both of us it was heartbreaking. After mentioning the hydrops, the doctor wanted to make it clear that we understood that babies just don't survive hydrops. It could be caused by many things (infections, anemia, chromosomal abnormalities, etc.), but generally it's not survived.

Our hearts are breaking, and the thoughts and feelings we are experiencing are difficult. All the doctors say, "We could see a miracle," but you can see sadness behind their eyes. I wonder what it must be like to be in their shoes, to have seen people in this situation over and over again, and to have to talk to us when we are going through it for the very first time. We would love to have a miracle baby, but it just seems like the odds are against us at this point. And while we do believe that God could heal our baby, we also know that He doesn't have to.

And even though our hearts our breaking, we still have hope. We know that our hope lies beyond our current circumstances. We still believe that God has allowed us to be on this journey, and we believe that He will take care of us no matter where this road takes us.

Update after our last appointment

2010-07-17T15:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we had an appointment scheduled with Dr. Taslimi for the amniocentesis test. We went in bright and early at 8:40 and got in pretty quickly to see the doctor. As usual, they did an ultrasound right away and we could see the baby moving around, but other than that, our untrained eyes didn't notice anything unusual.

Dr. Taslimi came in a few minutes later and told us that the swelling is still there and, in fact, it has now also gone into the body cavity, which means that there is swelling in and around the baby's organs. He did not come out and say anything too blatant, but everything he said indicated to both of us that this is pretty serious and not a good sign at all. He did say, "we can still hope for a miracle." I thought that was an interesting choice of words coming from a medical doctor, but I also inferred from the statement that a miracle is what it would take for the baby to do well (or maybe even survive?) under these circumstances. At this point, I had started crying, but Juan was there holding my hand and the doctor, ultrasound tech, and genetic counselor (who were all in the room with us) were very kind and supportive.

Next we transitioned to the conversation about the amniocentesis procedure. The doctor said that the inner sac still has not expanded to fuse with the outer sac, so the procedure is still a bit more complicated than normal, but he also did not see any benefit in waiting to do the procedure. They left Juan and me alone for a few minutes to discuss this, and we decided to go for it. We had discussed the benefits of the procedure at length during the previous week and believed that the results could provide information that will help us in the pregnancy, delivery/birth, and early days of life for this baby, so we thought it would be best to go forward with the test.

The procedure went fine - it only lasted about a minute, and it did involve a little bit of pain, but mostly it was a very unusual sensation. I know that Dr. Taslimi is a very experienced doctor and I felt very comfortable with him performing the procedure. We won't get the results for 2 more weeks (as long as everything goes well with the cells growing more cells), and we already have an appointment scheduled on July 30 for another ultrasound and checkup and to discuss the results of the amniocentesis. (We also have an appointment on July 23 for a fetal echocardiogram.)

This was easily the most difficult appointment we have had in this process. It seems like hope is rapidly decreasing. Statistically, there is very little chance that the swelling will go down at this point, and there is also a very good chance that the baby won't survive the pregnancy.

We have had a pretty good weekend since the appointment. I am supposed to lay low for 2 days following the amnio procedure, so Juan has been taking good care of me AND Olivia. I've got lots of rest and a few "sitting down" things done around the house. Friday was a tough day emotionally, but slowly we are starting to feel a sense of peace again as we once again are reminded that God will take care of us and provide what we need, no matter what happens with this baby.

Oh...one more thing! I forgot to mention that we did ask Dr. Taslimi if he could tell the gender of the baby, and he said (close your eyes if you don't want to know...) it's a girl! It's exciting to know that it's a girl, and soon we are going to choose a name. We'll definitely post the name on the blog when we decide. Any suggestions???

Tomorrow at 8:40 am is the test...

2010-07-15T19:41:00.000-07:00

So as tomorrow approaches I (juan) begin to feel a little more nervous and scared. I have really been asking God to reduce and completely remove any trace of the cystic Hygroma and tomorrow we will find out if there has been any change. We've had many good days and a few bad times in between. As I think about it I am not sure if all the good days are because we don't think about the baby's situation or if it's because we have truly come to accept God's gift in whatever form He chooses to give it to us. I am excited about the new life and I can't wait to find out if the baby is a boy or girl so we can choose a name. This will be a short post from me. We will post an update tomorrow sometime after the test. Please pray for the baby and us. - juan

Just for Fun Post!

2010-07-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

Since lately all my posts have been pretty serious (and appropriately so), I thought I would do a post just for fun.

And speaking of fun, our family has been having LOTS of fun lately. It's summer at Mount Hermon which means lots of things: Juan BBQs at the Family Camp BBQ most Sunday nights (for about 600 people!), Olivia and I go to "parent and baby" swimming lessons 2-3 dyas a week, and we have a "Family Group" of summer staff who we get to hang out with once a week. Generally there are just people just about everywhere we go, and we are definitely staying busy and having lots of fun!

Here are some recent photos of Olivia having fun at home this morning:

Amnio Postponed

2010-07-01T11:39:00.000-07:00

We went in to see Dr. Taslimi this morning, and after an ultrasound and a few questions, Dr. Taslimi, Juan and I decided to postpone the amnio procedure for 2 more weeks. Other than the minor scheduling issues, we've decided this is for the best because there is a possibility that if we had done it today, we might have to do it again in 2 weeks. This is because the possibility exists that the baby's cells in the amniotic fluid would not be developed enough to grow more cells to perform the test. In another 2 weeks, this is not very likely.

So...we wait again. While I'm confident that this is a good decision, I am a bit frustrated that it came about in this way. But I trust that there must be a reason. I'm trusting that God is in control, and whatever the outcome, He will provide what we need to continue on.

Thanks for your support and prayers. Our new amnio date is July 16, and in the meantime we have an appointment with Dr. Lawson, our ob/gyn. Pray for peace for us and for healing for the baby.

Amniocentesis tomorrow

2010-06-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow we have an appointment with Dr. Taslimi for amniocentesis. Dr. Taslimi is our "Stanford in Santa Cruz" doctor, and we think he is a great doctor. We're very impressed with his care so far. Our appointment is at 9:40 in the morning, and Juan is taking the day off to be at the appointment. My mom is here to be with us and also to help take care of Olivia because I'm supposed to be a "couch potato" for a couple of days after the procedure.

We are a bit nervous about the procedure, but also excited about finding out more about what is happening with our baby. One of the interesting things about amniocentesis is that we will be able to find out the gender of the baby - and it's 100% accurate (as opposed to an ultrasound...where there is always a small element of human error possible)! It's funny because with our last pregnancy we weren't even sure if we wanted to find out the gender, but this time around we can't wait to find out! Of course the circumstances are a bit different, and we want to know as much as we can about this baby.

If you'd like to pray for us, you can pray for Dr. Taslimi as he performs the procedure and for us as we learn more about what is happening with our baby. We won't receive any results for about 2 weeks, so the next few weeks will be a time of simply waiting.

Little bitty update

2010-06-22T21:13:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday and Friday I was having a slight feeling of tightness in the area of my uterus. I was a bit nervous about this, not knowing what could be going on with the baby. Having had the feeling for two days in a row, I called my doctor's office. I talked with the receptionist, who took a message, and then I got a call from the Medical Assistant, who asked me some questions and then relayed the information to the nurse, and then I got a call from the nurse. The nurse asked some questions and then talked with the doctor. Finally, she called me back and said that the doctor wanted me to come in to see her. I casually asked her what time would be good for them (in the usual "schedule an appointment with the doctor" way), and the nurse calmly said, "Dr. Lawson said to have you start making your way down here now."

After experiencing the escalation from receptionist to medical assistant to nurse to doctor to "come in right now," I was a wreck. I called our family friend Sonya, who came over in 5 minutes to care for Olivia, and by the time she showed up at the door I was sobbing.

Juan met me at Dr. Lawson's office and was very stable and reassuring to me. We waited for about 15 minutes or so in the lobby, went back into a room where we waited a bit more, and finally went into the ultrasound room and waited some more. Finally Dr. Lawson arrived and promptly did the ultrasound. The baby is growing and moving and the heart is beating!

The swelling is still present, but the growth, movement and heartbeat were good news! Dr. Lawson was very assuring and helpful, offering to see me at any time if I just felt nervous or had questions. She was also very careful to, in a very kind way, remind us of the seriousness of the diagnosis and some of the possible outcomes. She is a wonderful doctor.

At this point, our next step is the Amniocentesis scheduled on July 1. My mom is flying out to be with me and to help care for Olivia as I am supposed to take it easy for a couple of days afterward. We won't get the results from the Amnio for another 2 weeks as the procedure involves growing cells to be tested! It will be an interesting 2 weeks while we wait for the results.

That's our "little bitty" update on our "little bitty" baby. Thanks again for all the love and support! I'll try to keep posting on here as we get more news and information.

Thank you

2010-06-14T15:45:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for the incredible love and support you have given to us over the last two weeks. We both feel so loved and encouraged by all of you and your kind words. Thank you for your phone calls and your prayers.

At this point, we are simply waiting. We have a test planned for July 1, but nothing scheduled-not even a routine appointment-until then. So we're just waiting...on a daily basis. We are not in the thick of doctor's visits like we were two weeks ago, so life feels pretty normal, but we also know things could change at any time.

We'd appreciate your prayers, and we'll continue to keep you posted if there's anything to update.

We're pregnant!!!...and we need your prayers.

2010-06-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

For those of you who we haven't talked to lately...or who haven't heard...we're pregnant! We found out the great news in mid-April, and we've been letting the news out as a slow trickle...not really keeping it a secret, but not really announcing it to the whole world either.

Our due date is December 20, 2010 (talk about a fun Christmas, huh?), and Juan and I are both ecstatic about the news. Olivia is excited, too. In honor of the occasion, she learned how to say the word "baby" (or her own version thereof). Now I won't go so far as to say that she gets the concept of a baby being in Mommy's tummy, but when she sees a baby, whether in person, in a photo, or one of her baby dolls, she says, "Ba-bay" or "Ba-bo" (depending on the day).

So why do we need your prayers? Last Wednesday, I had a routine appointment with my ob/gyn. Everything seemed to be going fine, and the doctor pulled out the doppler machine to listen for the baby's heartbeat. We didn't hear it right away, and she said, "You know, it's like searching for a needle in a haystack. Why don't we do a quick ultrasound?" So we made our way into the ultrasound room, and as soon as the picture of the baby went up on the monitor, I saw the heartbeat. Whew. Dr. Lawson then said, "This is a very cute stage." And she was right...you could clearly see the shape of the baby's body and head, and little arms that wiggled around. She was quiet for a while, taking measurements and such, which was no surprise to me, but then she turned off the machine and very calmly said to me, "Shelly, I see something that is of concern to me and I'd like to refer you to a specialist for him to give us his opinion. I noticed some swelling around the body of the baby, and I think it could be what is called a cystic hygroma."

The next day we went to see the specialist and he confirmed that the baby does indeed have a cycstic hygroma, which is a fluid-filled cyst located behind the neck. A person can develop a cystic hygroma at any point in her life, but when it is diagnosed prenatally, it is a serious threat to the baby's well-being. While it is possible that the hygroma could resolve itself on its own and we could deliver a completely healthy baby, it's also possible that there could be a chromosomal abnormality or that the baby might not survive.

As you can imagine, this has been a very tough few days for us. We've felt a broad range of emotions, but we've also felt very loved and supported by our family as well our friends, many in our community at Mount Hermon.

In just this short time, we've come to believe that no matter what the outcome is, God has allowed these things to happen in our lives for a reason. We also believe that God will give us whatever it is we need in any situation...be it support, healing, wisdom, comfort, etc...

We'd certainly appreciate your prayers. We're simultaneously praying for the baby's healing AND to learn and grow from this experience, no matter what the ending.

I'll close with a passage from the Psalms that I remembered tonight. I read it to Juan, and we were both very touched by it. It represents what we believe about our baby, no matter how this story ends.

For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

Psalm 139: 13-16

Olivia at 15 months

2010-05-30T12:25:00.000-07:00

Just for posterity sake, I thought I would post a list of things Olivia does at 15 months. She is growing so big and we are amazed that she is starting to do "little adult" things.

At 15 months, Olivia...

...says "mama" and "dada" and clearly associates them with Mom and Dad.
...runs (and runs fast!) when she is excited. In fact, she has very little fear.
...climbs on just about anything.
...says lots of words that start with B..."buh" for dog (?), ball, bow, bye...
...loves to sit in her rocking chair.
...says "uh-oh" over and over again.
...points to her bellybutton, her nose, her ears, her eyes, her mouth, her hands and her feet.
...smiles on command (with a completely goofy smile).
...has 6 teeth - 4 on top and 2 on the bottom. They came in late (13 months) but they are big!
...loves to drink from a "real" cup.
...goes to bed around 7:30-8:00 every night and gets up around 7:00 am.
...gives hugs and kisses.
...likes to hug other kids.
...says "bay-bayh" when we point to her baby pictures.
...loves shoes and socks. She loves to put hers on loves to bring ours to us and to help us put ours on.
...loves computers, cell phones and any other gadgets. She'll be able to fully operate the cell phone any day now!
...knows what to do when Dad says, "Knuckle me!" (makes a fist and bumps fists with Dad)

Happy Birthday Olivia!

2010-02-09T23:35:00.000-08:00

Videos of walking and kisses

2010-01-08T19:25:00.000-08:00

These are videos of Olivia at 10 months - 3 weeks. She started walking during Christmas and blowing kisses too... have fun watching.

Fun evening with O

2009-11-16T20:28:00.000-08:00

For some reason Olivia was extra fun tonight. She was making noises and laughing at everything. We had a friend over (Carol Ann) and she was sitting across the table from her eating dinner. There was a pitcher of water between them and Olivia kept stretching from her high chair and peeking around the pitcher of water at Carol Ann. And she laughed and laughed.

The first two pictures were before the evening bath and the others are her playing on her changing table after the bath. The pictures are worth a 1000 words. She is SO happy. And so much fun. She is the best little girl.

Olivia turned 9 months on Nov. 9th. She has been such a blessing. I keep telling Shelly that I wish we would of done this years ago. It is so much fun and incredible. It is truly beyond explanation. I could never put it into words for some one else to understand. Having children is truly a true blessing from God.

Pumpkin Patch

2009-10-31T20:22:00.000-07:00

Olivia's First Halloween

2009-10-31T18:35:00.001-07:00

They say it goes fast...

2009-09-08T16:56:00.001-07:00

...but she's driving already???

Those eyes...

2009-08-31T21:31:00.000-07:00

6 months + 1 week = Avocado

2009-08-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

Olivia ate her first solid food this morning! She has been seriously watching us eat and grabbing for our food and drinks for weeks now, so we decided it was time to start feeding her solids. Of course, most people feed babies rice cereal as a first food, but we decided that avocado would be a good place to start. (We do live in California, after all.)

She did great! I took a tiny bit of avocado and smushed it up really well, put it on the end of my finger, and put it in her mouth. She made a funny face like she didn't know what to do with it, but then she swallowed it right away! We were amazed that she did so well. All in all, she ate maybe a tablespoon of avocado, and only a little bit ended up on her face at the very end.

Olivia loves to bounce

2009-07-28T21:20:00.001-07:00

So we got this bouncy thing for O and she LOVES it. Short 2 min vid.

New pictures of Olivia

2009-07-22T08:34:00.001-07:00

I took a couple of pictures of Olivia in the morning yesterday and thought I would post a few real quick this morning, since it's been so long since I've put any up. Enjoy!

Wow...long time since the last post!

2009-07-21T16:13:00.001-07:00

I did not realize quite how long it had been since I had posted anything on here. However, in that time, we have...

-bought a house

-gone to Texas and Louisiana (Olivia's first time on an airplane!)

-moved!

Needless to say, we've been quite busy!

I'll post some pictures soon...but in the mean time, here's a little list.

At 5 months, Olivia:

-blows bubbles and raspberries

-watches her hands while she is wiggling her fingers in slow motion

-moves a LOT!

-laughs a LOT!

-takes either 3 naps of 30-45 minutes or one short and one long nap

-rolls over from front to back and back to front

-makes eye contact

-squeals with excitement

Ticklish Olivia

2009-05-21T22:17:00.000-07:00

I think Olivia is going to be VERY ticklish. I kissed her on her neck a week ago and she giggled. Then I started to kiss her more and make noises and she actually giggled. She did not just laugh once but she put a couple to three laughs together and giggled. I can't believe how fast she has grown already. and its only been 3months 2weeks. The video is not the greatest but I shot it my self as I was playing with her. I just can't believe how much fun she is. She is the best! Watch the video. It is only about a minute long.

Our First Mother's Day

2009-05-19T21:42:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday was our first Mother's Day as a new family. We had a GREAT day! Juan and Olivia made me feel special from the moment I woke until I closed my eyes at the end of the day. They showered me with gifts and cards, made breakfast for me, and then after going to church, we all went to the Mount Hermon Mother's Day Brunch. I shed many tears of happiness and we created many great memories!

Abuelita came to see Olivia

2009-05-05T21:54:00.000-07:00

My (Juan) mother , Olivia's abuelita (grandmother), came out for a few days to see O's growth. She is about 11.5 lbs at this point and she is talking and smiling like crazy. These are a few pictures of Olivia's abuela and her as she smiles up a storm. She is so cute and I can't stop kissing her so much. We were glad that my mother was able to come out to see O. This time in life seems so important as she grows so quickly.

Olivia is growing up!

2009-05-04T17:02:00.000-07:00

The first picture is of Olivia and Juan on February 21, 2009 - she was just under 2 weeks old. We took the second photo on April 14, 2009 (although it seems like it was just yesterday!), when she was a little over 2 months old.

It's crazy to see how much she is growing - not only in size, but not she's making more and more facial expressions and "talking" - it's really cute and makes us fall more in love with her each and every day.

Such a cute outfit on such a cute girl!

2009-05-04T16:45:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to go through Olivia's clothes and make sure she gets to wear some of the cute clothes we received as gifts before she outgrows them.

Today I tried this outfit on (from Martha) her and I LOVE it!

(Don't you just love her expressions - especially in the first photo?!)

Olivia's Easter Sunday Dress

2009-04-23T22:21:00.001-07:00

This is Olivia's First Easter Sunday Dress and the second photo is of Olivia and (uncle) Kent Zippe. He is a really good friend that has been part of our lives for the past 4 years. I met him in a men's Bible study 4 years ago and he is part of the family now. Olivia is so pretty.

Talking/Peeka-Boo O

2009-04-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

Olivia was lying on her back and talking really loudly so I grabbed the video camera to catch her in the action. Then we played peeka-boo to get her to talk and smile. She is so much fun. Even when she gets fussy. Both videos are kind of long 5 min or so.

Opening Day

2009-04-08T21:31:00.000-07:00

My (Juan) favorite season of the year, my favorite University (of Houston), my favorite team (Houston Astros) and my favorite little girl (holding her Louisville Slugger). I have great memories growing up with baseball and my father. I hope build good memories with Olivia. GO STROS!

Laughing O

2009-04-06T22:12:00.000-07:00

I (Juan) was playing with Olivia and doing the peek-a-boo game and she loved it. It is something else when they start to respond to your actions. These are my favorite to date.

The other day Olivia was crying so I took her to her "happy place" which happens to be the changing table. So I shot this video of her. She is so happy here. She cracks us up how happy she is here. Sometimes we'll move he changing pad to the living room and lay her in it and she will lie there for half an hour just kicking and talking. This is the video.

Olivia's First Sunday at Church

2009-03-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

We made it to church yesterday! The bottom picture is of us in the "family room" - where we went when O got a little bit fussy. We didn't have to stay there long, though, because she was so good. She loves being in the Moby - can you barely see her cheek?

This middle photo is of us leaving the house to go to church. Juan sort of laughs at me because I want to document everything. So we quickly reached out to take a "self-photo." I think this photo is hilarious because when I looked at it this morning, I realized you can't really even see Olivia. So we've documented her first day at church with a photo of me and Juan. Nice.

Bathtime

2009-03-16T23:14:00.001-07:00

I bought Olivia a little bath tub yesterday, and we gave her a bath in it tonight. It was her first fully immersed bath, and she really seemed to enjoy it.

Just love this photo of her. You can really see that she has gained some serious weight since she was born. And she still has those gorgeous, big bright eyes.

After the bath in her lamb towel Juan bought her at Christmas...

We tried to get a picture of how curly Olivia's hair is when it is wet, but she wasn't very happy at the moment. Still, her hair is so cute and curly when it's wet. Then when it dries and she is held for a while, it gets straight again!

Olivia and Grandpa

2009-03-15T13:32:00.000-07:00

We enjoyed a good visit this weekend from Grandma and Grandpa from Lousiana. My dad (Grandpa Jerry) is really good with Olivia! I loved to watch him hold her and just be sweet with her.

Olivia's Interpretive Dance

2009-03-12T21:29:00.000-07:00

Olivia does this thing where she slowly moves her hands through the air and stares off into the distance. It's as if she's discovering her arms and hands. It's really sweet.

A friend of mine came over the other day and called it her "interpretive dance." Dance, Olivia, dance. We love it. And we love you.

Ducky Outfit

2009-03-11T20:36:00.000-07:00

Olivia got this cute outfit from Aunt Millie and I tried it on her today, but she wasn't very happy about the fashion show...

1 month appointment

2009-03-09T16:04:00.000-07:00

We went to Olivia's one month appointment at the pediatrician's today and she weighed in at 7 lbs 12 oz - 15 ounces gained in the last 2 weeks. Yea Olivia!

Olivia at just under 4 weeks old

2009-03-08T21:05:00.000-07:00

Hands

2009-03-08T19:00:00.000-07:00

We were heading out for a short outing this afternoon and we decided to take a picture of Juan's and Olivia's hands together so we would remember how small they were. I took a couple of shots and loved this one with O's facial expression in the background.

Olivia got her first piece of mail today!

2009-03-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

Olivia got her first piece of mail today - her Social Security card from the Social Security Administration! It was addressed to her and everything. Strange to think that our little baby has a number already!

Went for a walk in Mount Hermon today!

2009-03-05T18:02:00.000-08:00

Olivia and I met some friends and went for a walk around Mount Hermon today. It was a beautiful day and we had a great time in the sunshine!

Doesn't Olivia have a sweet ride?!?

Surprise in the middle of the night!

2009-03-04T13:10:00.000-08:00

So I was up in the middle of the night last night feeding Olivia (around 3:45 am). I was standing in the kitchen, and I lifted her to my left shoulder to burp her, and I immediately heard a "splat" on the floor behind me. She had spit up just as I was lifting her, and it "flew" over my shoulder and landed on the floor behind me. In my middle of the night fog, I took a picture so I would remember to tell Juan about it in the morning!

Grandma comes for a visit!

2009-03-02T15:41:00.000-08:00

Juan's mother and Olivia's grandmother, Martha, came for a visit this weekend. We had a very low-key but special weekend together. Olivia is Martha's first grandchild and the first baby girl born in the family - Martha has all boys!